Beware and BE Aware: From Dream Home to Nightmare

Posted: October 16, 2012

Thank you for all your kind comments on yesterday's comfort food post.  Any disappointment with the house is just because I felt it was all working out so nicely, was such a perfect fit for our family, and was meant to be.  However, the overwhelming feelings right now are shock and awe and extreme thankfulness that we are not buying it.  And now I am ready to discuss why.  There is more to life than raising healthy kids who eat vegetables and stay away from added sugars.  I know, you never thought I'd say that right?! But there is at least one thing that is so much greater: their safety and overall well-being.  Statistics show that over 6 million children are abused in some way each year in the US and more than 90% of all juvenile sex abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. We need to be aware of who is in our children's lives and we need to beware of any potential dangers.

A few more statistics:

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In a bunch of routine emails from our realtor with information on the area, local schools, shopping, and resources, there was a link to the Colorado Sex Offender database. I could've ignored it. I could've let it get lost in the pile of information thrown at me.  But I didn't.  I looked.

And my mountain dream home quickly turned into a nightmare.

I found out that there was a child sexual predator practically living next door (at the end of the same cul-de-sac)... who would be able to watch our comings and goings, see Dear Hubby leave for work, watch Babycakes and I playing in our yard, and essentially "know us in some way."  Upon further investigation, I found out this person has multiple arrests and felony charges for child prostitution, soliciting, and sexual assaults on a child...both repetitive and escalating.  This is not something to be blissfully unaware of. This is someone to beware of.  Yes, some registered sex offenders are 18 year old males who have naked pics of their 17 year old girlfriends or who have peed in public.  But some are actual threats.  It's up to you to do the research.

I urge you to look, and become aware.

Here is a link to the Federal Sex Offender Registry that lists each State's individual website. 

Yes, this is a scary world we live in.

Yes, we can't live in constant fear.

Yes, bad things happen every day that are out of our control.

But, we can take proactive steps to help protect our children:

  • Check the national database to become aware of any sexual predators who might live near you
  • Be present with your children as much as possible, both physically and mentally
  • Teach them about their bodies, what is right and wrong, and how to recognize inappropriate behavior
  • Reduce one child / one adult situations
  • Monitor your child's internet use
  • Read this Guide for Responsible Adults for further ideas

If one child is made safer because of this post, then it was worth writing.  Please share this with friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc... and get the message out.

Moving Update:

As I said, I have been through the full gamut of emotions in the last few days- sadness, anger, disappointment, bewilderment, thankfulness, and a huge sigh of relief all squished into one.  I have been hugging Babycakes a lot tighter, that's for sure.  I am thankful for God's leading in our lives, His perfect timing, His prompting, and His protection.  As for moving, we still have to be out of our current house in 14 days.  We'll be moving into our inlaws' rental house (without them) in the interim until we can find our actual mountain dream home.

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Comments

Submitted by Jean - October 16, 2012 - 12:53pm

I'm so glad you found out before you moved there! I just started following your blog around the time you first talked about selling your house and moving. God has His hand in control of the situation! You are truly blessed!

Submitted by Anita - October 16, 2012 - 12:54pm

Where He guides, He provides!!! Praising Him for giving you abundant knowledge and wisdom to keep your family safe. You true dream home is on divine order, Kelly :-)

Submitted by Stephanie - October 16, 2012 - 1:08pm

I am so sorry your dream home didn't work out, however, you are so incredibly fortunate that you found out this information now & before you moved in. We love, love, love our neighborhood and then that dreaded sex offender notice arrived in the mail a few months ago. A level 2, repeater, violator of his parole, likes to keep moving from state to state and fails to register. He literally lives inches away from the school boundaries. And I SEE him, which just gives me the heeby-jeebies even more. Our 3 babes (5-13 yrs) play outside a LOT. We ride bikes in the neighborhood and to the park/rec center a mile away. But this creeper now lives between us and the park. We are surrounded by families. It is so incredibly frustrating that he is allowed to live wherever he wants and not one of us has a say, yet it impacts all of us. If he had been here first, I know we would not have chosen this house. Thank YOU for posting this and sharing what happened. It amazes me when I talk to other moms & dads who have never checked the database. As parents, we must protect our children. Be aware of neighbors and family members. I was sexually abused by my aunt... a NUN and 30+ years later, my parents still deny it. God Bless you and your family! I can't wait to see what He has in store for you!

Submitted by Calee Himes - October 16, 2012 - 2:31pm

oh man. :/ so glad you got out of the nightmare neighborhood.

Submitted by Lisa @ Floating Along - October 16, 2012 - 2:36pm

Wow - that is such a close call, and I'm SO glad you did your research! I'm sorry this mountain home wasn't the one for you, but glad you will find one that you love AND is safe for your family. Thanks for spreading the word.

Submitted by Joanne Butler - October 16, 2012 - 2:54pm

We are so grateful you were wise enough to read about this sex offender before you moved! God was truly guiding you, and always does. Thank you Jesus for protecting this special family from harm! Blessings, Joanne

Submitted by Wendy - October 16, 2012 - 3:00pm

But soooo glad you found out in time, this can be a very scary thing, we had an offender right across the street from us the whole neighborhood knew it except his own wife, it was more of a creepy old guy hitting on babysitter type thing but his own wife had no idea, so you see how well they can cover their tracks, to everyone else out there research the sites and know your neighbors!

Submitted by Hartley Pohjola - October 16, 2012 - 3:31pm

Oh my goodness! I am so glad that you found that out! I'm sure there is house even more perfect for you! Thank you for sharing your story with so many people. Everyday.

Submitted by Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning - October 16, 2012 - 3:55pm

Oh my goodness Kelly- I am so sorry to hear about this! I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions that you're feeling. :(
I know that it's hard to find this thought comforting right now, but you know that things happen for a reason- and this just wasn't meant to be. And your HOME is there- waiting for you right now... you just have to find it (and you will).
Big hugs to you. xoxo

Submitted by Lena - October 16, 2012 - 4:04pm

It's such a good thing that you looked because that type of person is definitely best to stay far far away from. Plus, after what happened with Jessica Ridgeway, you can never be too careful.

Submitted by Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries - October 16, 2012 - 4:16pm

I'm so sorry to hear of this Kelly! However, I'm also so happy that you found this information out when you did. You will find that perfect dream home in time though. Best of luck to you and your cute family!

Submitted by Angela - October 16, 2012 - 5:18pm

I'm very sorry to hear about not being able to move into your dream home. I've been seeing the post's on facebook and it was a gorgeous home. But I also thank you for sharing your story and posting the offender website. I would have never thought to look up our zip code. You are truly blessed by god, that he lead you away from a bad thing. You're facebook page and blog continue to inspire me to lose my weight after two children and being kind of chubby all through high school. I also am a stay at home mom and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Thank you again, and I know you and you're family will find your dream home soon.

Submitted by Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut - October 16, 2012 - 6:33pm

Wow I would never think to look for this, but obviously it is a good thing you did!! Thanks for posting this for my future babies!! So sorry this house didn't work out, but God clearly has something EVEN BETTER planned. :)

Submitted by Brittany - October 16, 2012 - 8:08pm

I am so thankful that you found this out before you bought the house!!! This is certainly God leading and directing you Kelly! This just gave me chills!

Submitted by Kate - October 17, 2012 - 12:49am

Thank you so much for posting about this. I have suffered in the past due to a predator and I believe this is SO important. There are some kid books on the subject by No Greater Joy that help to broach the subject with your kids. Even though I knew of the dangers, at first it was still a little hard for me to talk with my girls about it. However, these books helped. Also, many people do not understand the widespread nature of this kind of abuse. I have a friend that was shocked when I told her that it was about 25% or so of children have been sexually abused. Now she understands why I am so serious about protecting my children ALL THE TIME. Thanks thanks thanks!

Submitted by Elaine - October 17, 2012 - 11:12am

My husband and I bought his grandmother's home 4 years ago. Great neighborhood. 10 months later our neighbor, directly next to us, kicked our her current husband to take in her previous husband who had just finished serving his 15 yr sentence for pedophilia.....we had no choice, no say. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing who is actually rather upset with us because we don't wish to associate or even speak with him (but he's different now because he "found" Jesus), yet he can drink ALOT of alcohol daily and get in to a yelling/cursing match with my husband...and then the next year wants to "put all that behind us".....NOT. I have a 12 yr old son and even though this man has assaulted an 8 yr old girl for 4 years, I do not trust him near any children. And did I mention the wife that took him back is wearing dentures because he knocked her teeth out,left her for dead, and abducted their own 2 young girls when she confronted him about it? I warn parents everywhere all the time - check the Megan's list for your zip code. But also check in your county if possible - you never know who may be attending your church. This "man" attends church as well.......

Submitted by Betty Lynn - October 17, 2012 - 2:52pm

Isnt it amazing how God is in control? The Holy Spirit prompting you to read that. Awesome. There is something SO much better for you out there

Submitted by sonja - October 20, 2012 - 11:44pm

This constant fear of one of my beautiful girls falling victim to one of these sick individuals is always in my thoughts-watched Half the Sky documentary (which every woman and young girl should watch) and I weeped, uncontrollably. We as women, mothers, and sisters have a duty to protect our children and provide a safe and flourishing environment for them. I commend you on your actions and I am sickened by the protection these unfortunate, tortured souls who have harmed anyone even more so a child can live amongst us, so unassuming, like chameleons. They should have to live with each other, sequestered so that the cycle can end and our children can be children. Stranger danger will always exist, I just wish it wasn't so easy for them...wishes to you and your family for an easy transition, and keep up the good work!

Submitted by Caitlin - October 23, 2012 - 9:20am

Thank God you found out!!! How scary! Everything happens for a reason, and something even better will come to you now!

Submitted by Didi - December 18, 2012 - 12:58pm

This was a very moving post. Amazingly I found it through the www.jointhereboot.com website! Kelly, I'm staying in a Colorado mountain home that is in an beautiful neighborhood with no sex offenders (I checked the links you provided). It is 10 miles outside of Boulder on Flagstaff Rd. next to the Gross Reservoir and its on the school bus route. Please let me know if you would like more information. Sorry for the promotion - I just couldn't believe the synchronicity of me finding your blog, you not getting your home, and this home being available.

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