Big Changes Ahead

Posted: June 20, 2012

You may remember that I hinted in this post about something exciting brewing in my future.  On a scale of 1 to 10, it's definitely a 10 in my book!  However, it can be a sensitive and divisive issue for some people...so I'm going to tread lightly.  After 10 years of working day in and day out, I'm going to be joining the ranks of "Stay At Home Momma" in a few short weeks!! I decided I really wanted to spend more time pouring into the things that really matter to me: Babycakes, Dear Hubby, church, and this blog/ new business ventures I'm working on. Now I will have the time to actually do that.              Picture Source.

I consider Staying at Home a Luxury (and a choice).

This is a hot topic because of the judgement that often comes along with it.  Moms who choose to work think what they do is best and moms who stay at home tend to think everyone else should too.  It is a HUGE decision, and no one wants to feel like they're being judged or making the wrong choice!  But the truth is, in this economy, staying at home is not always an option for mothers.  Plain and simple.  The flip side is, some mothers could afford to stay home, but choose not to.  For me, I never thought it was something that I could do / we wouldn't be able to afford / didn't make sense.  But, Dear Hubby's business has been blessed and is making it possible. Yes, there will be sacrifices.  Yes, there will be budgeting.  Yes, there will be simplifying.  But we can make it work.  We're going to make it work.

The Plan:

Babycakes will still go to my in-laws' twice a week (one day a week I'll do accounting/admin for Dear Hubby's web development company and one day a week I'll work on my own business development), then I'll get to spend 3 days during the week with Babycakes.

Excited for the Chance:

I'm so excited for the "chance" ... the chance to build my own blog and new business (details in another month or two!), the chance to pour into Dear Hubby's business and make it stronger, and best of all... the chance to pour into Babycakes when she's at a really critical stage - absorbing and learning EVERYTHING!!!!

She brings true joy to me (even with a periodic tantrum). I mean, come on... look at that sweet face!

Nitty-Gritty:

I gave my notice at work last week.  I will finish out through the next month-end close (3 weeks), and my last day will be Friday, July 6th.  I have already gone into major planning mode at home - making lots of lists, simplifying as much as possible, and moving furniture around (if I'm going to be spending more time at home with Babycakes, I want it to be more organized and more conducive to fun, learning, and exploration). I plan to blog about some of these simplifying strategies - with real practical tips on how to do it.  I won't say "you should take 15 minutes to declutter." I will say things like, "Start by decluttering one daily nuisance: mail.  How?  I hung 2 metal containers in my butler pantry: One is for items "To File" and the other for bills "To Pay"... Daily mail goes into one of those two containers or directly into the trash/recycle. Outcome: No more random mail throughout the house or in piles!"

I am still going to:

  • Focus on delicious, easy, healthy meals perfect for everyone: the working AND stay-at-home mommas, the non-mommas, and any guys that read this blog!
  • Take the weekends off to focus on my family.
  • Work towards my next set of goals.
  • Encourage, inspire, and challenge you to live the happy healthy life, every step of the way!

Questions:

  1. Do you have a good "simplifying" tip to share?
  2. Do you use a budget? Are you good at sticking to it?

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Comments

Submitted by Katie @wishandwhimsy - June 20, 2012 - 7:23am

I'm SO happy for you! What a refreshing and exciting change ahead. Thanks for sharing. We're all excited for you. Can't wait to continue following along on your adventure. Keep bringing the best. You're doing wonderful things!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:39pm

Will do :)

Submitted by Angie - June 20, 2012 - 7:26am

My three children are grown and married. I stayed home with them off and on when they were small, but worked outside the home for the majority of their childhood/teenage years. The primary reason for working outside the home was necessity although I did finally find a job/career that I loved. Having grown up in the late sixties and seventies, I was part of the "women's liberation" era. Some women tend to forget that what that was all about was women having the freedom to choose whether they wanted to stay at home or work outside the home. Women are much to hard on each other. You should do what is right for you and your family. Period. I wish you all the best.

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:40pm

So true!

Submitted by Caitlin - June 20, 2012 - 8:07am

Congrats Kelly! It is a big decision and I am very excited for you. I work part-time and love that I get to stay home with Quinn the majority of the time (although if you asked me 5 years I never would have guessed that!). It is a balance, but lots of fun (and work). I hope you enjoy your new schedule and routine.

(We are planning to do the exact same mail sorting in our new house- ha!)

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:42pm

Yes, I think it will be a really nice balance, for me AND for Babycakes. I love the relationship she's developed with her grandparents... and am glad that will continue.

Submitted by Lindsay @ Lindsay's List - June 20, 2012 - 8:34am

staying at home is challenging, amazing, a blessing, worthwhile!! I'm so glad that you get to experience this!!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:42pm

I am excited for the challenge, the amazement, and the blessing :) Can it be July 6th yet?!?

Submitted by Kat - June 20, 2012 - 8:54am

This is so exciting!
On judgement and motherhood: omg why can't we just give each other a break already?! I am of the belief that what is right for one person may be wrong for another and no one (well, maybe a therapist I guess?) can judge that right versus wrong except the family itself. Honestly, why do we judge one another instead of supporting?

I can't wait to see the tips on simplifying!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:46pm

Support is so important, and the decision is sooooo personal. Thx for stopping by and commenting, Kat! Simplifying tips coming right up :)

Submitted by Lee - June 20, 2012 - 9:02am

KELLY! I am sooooo happy for you. My mom stayed home with me growing up and I couldn't imagine my childhood any other way. Good luck doing what you love. You're an inspiration to young women like me who just want to do what they love :)

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:48pm

Awwww, you're so sweet Lee! Thanks for your nice comments :) How's the new job going?!

Submitted by valerie - June 20, 2012 - 11:04am

That is wonderful and a choice you will never regret. Sometimes I think of working full time hours so I will have more money- and less budget worries but I realized that isn't the answer. I love being home when my 10 year old gets off the bus and cherish the close relationship we have. I need to nurture that before she becomes a scary teenager!!! Congrats!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:49pm

Yes, I'm totally scared of the teenage girl that will be living in my house in about 11 years :)

Submitted by Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries - June 20, 2012 - 12:07pm

good for you!! i'm so excited for you and this opportunity that you're taking to be home with your little girl. i am sure you won't regret it one bit!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:49pm

I am excited about this new "chapter" in life and all that it holds for me :)

Submitted by Corrie Anne - June 20, 2012 - 12:59pm

That's so awesome!! I was so happy for you when I saw it on Facebook that I had to come read your whole blog on my iPhone on the way to work! But then I didn't get to comment. So here I am! Hooray! That sounds just perfect!

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:51pm

I bet you had to do a lot of scrolling on your iphone! Thx for the coming back to comment and for the excitement :)

Submitted by Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning - June 20, 2012 - 1:38pm

You know I'm 100% supportive and happy for you!!! I think it's SO IMPORTANT to evaluate what really matters to you- and to GO FOR IT. You'll be so much happier, and it will carry over to those that are around you. xoxo

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:52pm

YOU going after your dreams was an inspiration to ME, so thank you!!

Submitted by Misty - June 20, 2012 - 1:47pm

You will never regret it!!! I've been home with my kids for 16 years and I really love the time I've had with them.
BTW, your blog is an encouragement as I am on my own weight loss journey (only 10 pounds down, but after 8 kids that isn't bad)

Submitted by kelly - June 20, 2012 - 2:52pm

And congrats on the 10lbs down... that's a huge accomplishment!!!

Submitted by Betty Lynn Pepka - June 20, 2012 - 4:20pm

Oh Kelly I am so happy for you. You won't regret the sacrifices.

I am a 50 something mom, wife, daughter. My boys are 33 and 31. Both live in other states. For the past 8 years since moving to Denver from Pittsburgh, we had my mom living with us. I worked part time as an OB nurse during my 35 year career.

I chose nursing as a career as a teen after seeing my mom care for her mom. I helped her take care of my dad as he battled cancer. I took care of her in our home and made her life as comfortable as I could. She had a lot of physical pain and limitations. We focused on her...a lot.

My mom passed away here in our home May 2011. She was 89. She was alert and cognizant until her last breath. My sons, my husband and I were here and I held her hand as she let go of mine to take the hand of Jesus. Then I held onto my husband and sons for comfort and strength.

She came home on Good Friday 2011, to die at home, as we had always planned.

A little miracle named Stella came unexpectedly into our lives at the same time. I began babysitting a 6 week old infant for a young single mom on May 5. I chose to resign from my job, albeit part time, to care for my mom. This little angel was such a wonderful distraction for us through the rough last days and the pain of loosing my mom..I had fully anticipated my mom being alive until at least Christmas. She died May 13 instead just 3 weeks after coming home. She got to hold and enjoy the baby in her last days here on earth.

I anticipated going back to work and having her mom find a new caregiver. Well, 15 months later, she is still here with us and I work as a nurse 2 shifts/month!

Now, she is not my own, but God placed her in my life at the exact right moments. To many, it seems that I am " wasting my life" taking care of a child who is not even related when I could be now working full time to build our nest egg for retirement. Some have said " she must have received a nice inheritance" when they couldn't be more wrong! My mom died with less than $30 in the bank. Her treasures were in heaven and in those she invested her life into. And she passed her "mantle" to me

We have no retirement savings. We have no savings at all. We live from pay to pay and sometimes fall short. I have sold "things" that are just that..."things"
But we are happy. My DH does not want me to go back to work. Our stress level is decreased. I cook more. I sew. I scrapbook and garden. I shop less. I have had time to be "the older woman" in a young moms group. We walk together in the evening. We have both lost weight, on purpose.

We stand amazed at Gods provision...He does more to stretch our dollar than we ever could. He sends us the manna just when we need it, not more, not less...just enough to get us thru the day and to depend on Him for tomorrow, not our savings or paychecks. We have no promise of tomorrow as i was reminded when i lost my dear mom.

My DH Looks forward to coming home to us. She lights up his day, even though it is only 45 minutes until her mom comes. We see it as a ministry to this young mom. She has no family here.

It has been a very hard journey this past year. Financially as well as emotionally. Our income is totally cut in half. My emotional state varied from day to day. But I have successfully simplified our life in many ways.

I have 2 prints hanging in the living room in a prominent place that say "Simplify Life Magnify Living" and "Live, Laugh Love...with Purpose"
I have my Bible and devotional close by, not hidden away.

I have purged a lot of "things" so I don't have as much to clean or tidy. I do keep our papers at bay by handling as soon as they come in.
I love FlyLady. I see you mentioned NOT using the 15 minutes a day to simplify but I truly encourage you to reconsider. Look at www.flylady.com. As a born "messy" and clutter-bug, I have tried (and failed) many different approaches yet this is the ONLY one that has consistently kept my life and house in some semblance of order. Follow FlyLady's daily morning and night routine and you will have more time, a tidy house...in short, a simplified life to invest in your daughter, your husband your parents and we who love your website.

I'm sorry to have rambled on so. Even though I've "known" you such a short time, I feel like we are girlfriends.
I know God will bless your choice to put Him and your family first. He always does.

Your "friend"
Betty Lynn
Thornton, CO

Submitted by Michelle - June 20, 2012 - 6:23pm

Dear Sweet Lady,
I agree the choice to "stay home" and not stay home are totally up to the individual. When it comes to whether you can afford to or not is up to how you live. My husband has been through 6 heart attacks, and is currently on dialysis. I have stayed at home for about 7 years now. I have been busier staying at home than I ever was working a full time job. I actually have five jobs, and I homeschool two of my five children. I am not going to say we don't struggle. But, relying on God for our needs, not our wants makes a big difference. I also have my bible and my bible study close at hand. I do pick up the house in 15 mins, I make lists so I remember to accomplish certain tasks. I have become a pro at time management. And I wouldn't change a thing about our life. God Bless, Good luck in your adventure of staying home.

Submitted by Jaren@Kiwi Fit Blog - June 20, 2012 - 7:20pm

Im so jealous!! Best of luck girlfriend!! Being at home is hard work but very rewarding!! That is my some times in the far future when I'm cool dream!

Submitted by Brittany @ Delights and Delectables - June 20, 2012 - 9:08pm

I'm so happy you get to stay at home! To me, that is the hardest job!

Submitted by Mary B. - June 20, 2012 - 10:44pm

I just started reading your blog and like it a lot! You are on my regular rotation now.I have stayed home with my daughter. My husband has also been a stay-at-home dad. There is no wrong way to raise a family, as long as you love your kids with your whole heart--which it seems clear you do. Good luck on your new adventure!

Submitted by Heather @ Better With Veggies - June 21, 2012 - 7:14am

I think it's awesome you're going to stay home with your daughter - what an amazing decision! I hope that if I ever had a child I could do the same. :)

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